Barely there, slender, fit, in shape
virginal, good in bed, mother
no children, no baggage
brilliant and beautiful
but not more brilliant
than me
Whore, modest, faithful
but my buddies
should want to fuck her.
Tall, but not too tall
talented, but not too talented
Looks for equity
while making dinner
but doesn't whine
about how hard
it is to be a woman
Strong, but not so strong
that she can make it
without me
Dependent, but not so much
that she relies on me
because I want
her to be committed
to me, but
I don't want the responsibility
of being committed
to her
Willing to fuck me
almost immediately
but no history
no prior lovers
to crowd out
my insecurities
Educated, but
not moreso than me
willing to bow out
from a fight
in order to pander to
my fragile male ego
She must be able
to say she is wrong
even when we both know
she is right- just to
preserve the peace
Must be okay with me leaving
on a moment's notice
and turning my cell off
but she needs a GPS
in her ass
because I might become convinced
that she is fucking the check-out guy
Must clean up after me
because I work hard
and she is the WOMAN
Must put up
with my wacko family
including my mother, who
was either a psycho whore bitch
or the virgin mum herself
and sometimes both
so any woman
must understand that dynamic
and must not question it
when my mother cuts her
into a million pieces
over Thanksgiving dinner
Also, she must not
get pissy when I can't decide
if I love my mom or hate her
but I don't want any woman
with deep-seated daddy issues
because that's not my problem
I need a woman
who has never been hurt
so she won't take that out
on me, but I need her
to understand that I have been hurt
and might take it out on her
I need a woman
with no scars that show
if she can stuff them down
and only let the sexy parts
that appeal to my manhood
out into the daylight sun-
if she can smile through
her contractions
if she can pretend she
has never been hit or hurt
by men
if she can be my sexy queen
goddess freak
virgin mother
then we will totally work out.
P.S. No fatties.
